Archive for December, 2011

Douchebag (P. 13)

Let us talk about the douche for the day…

The person standing in the middle of every random retail shopping facility in the world. This person is not merely standing there looking at items to potentially purchase, but is holding conversations in a bottleneck area where others cannot pass. This always occurs where two displays come together allowing just enough room for a buggy to pass. Now I am sure people can go around, but the point is rudeness. If this person were not extremely rude, they would hold their respective conversations elsewhere… like say where two buggies can pass each other, allowing ample room for other patrons to maneuver around their obviously important conversation that HAS to take place right there – right then. Well, this person is extremely rude, and that is why they are holding their conversation of utmost importance in the way of everyone else. Now comes the fun part. In order for you to get around this plethora of manners, you have to speak to them. Generally this will be something to the affect of “excuse me”, although you are not the one needing to be excused here. This is a polite way for the social creatures in our species to navigate this situation with minimal fuss. Well, bring on the attitude! This asshole not only refuses to hold their conversations elsewhere, they now look at you as though you are somehow inconveniencing them by politely expressing your need to get around their play date. This is where most will just chock it up to being in a bad mood or being bitchy or whatever. I chock this up to lack of simple social skills. This will garner a smart ass comment from me if you are the unfortunate attitude holder. I am also able to catch attitude at any given moment, and as most will not choose this moment to express their disgust in what they see, I, and others will absolutely take this time to return the good gesture. While most will say nothing and move about their day, all know and understand you garnered the douchebag award for the day! Bask in its infinite glory, as you have truly earned it.

– Me


Ho Ho F*&$ OFF

This time of year is supposed to be a time of giving and charity. The single most cheerful season of all, and the most religiously important to some. Well, I have seen none of that so far. I have encountered extremely rude drivers, restaurant patrons, and especially shoppers. These shoppers act as if Wal-Mart will never have cheaply made in China products again. Are you kidding me? This store will always have these crappy products, and it is not worth your health to attempt to run me over to get it. I am a pretty big fellow, and do not appreciate some over indulgent chubby woman acting as if her life is more important than my getting around. It simply is not, you can wait in line like everyone else, and if you do not like that, then shop on Amazon where you can scream at your internet connection for not being fast enough.

What ever happened to the kind spirit of Christmas and the good will attitude of our parents. Our generation has given way to the commercialization of this holiday, essentially making the shopping the most stressful part of the year. This is why a 36 year old normally kind and shy chubby housewife turns into Arnold Schwarzenegger in Jingle all the Way and begins starting fights over the latest lead filled piece of shit coming from the Chinese. This is ridiculous behavior and seems to come out during what should be the friendliest time of year.

Do everyone a favor, if you are in ill spirits, stay at home that day. Do not endanger everyone around you by driving with a chip on your shoulder for no reason, and by hurriedly trying to navigate a busy shopping venue for no other reason than you are in a hurry for no reason. If this holiday pisses you off and stresses you out this badly, then quit celebrating it! If you are a true Christian and believe the message, do you not think God sees your lucid behavior and is somewhat disgusted? I saw it and was repulsed by it, and I am quite sure your maker saw it too. Congrats are in order to you, oh pissy one, for you have made a commercial mockery of the very birth of your savior, and further, have spat in the face of the very message he died to promote. Now go to church and brag to your friends on what a good Christian you are. Perhaps bragging to them will somehow make your actions ok.

– Me

COD MW3 Cheater

I know it is just a game, but I feel resentment when I play people like this. It really takes the fun out of the game and makes me wonder how they could have fun KNOWING they will not die during a match. Anyway… enjoy this cheaters unbelievable score due to his undeniable skill (with a sniper rifle no less) 34 kills, 2 assists, and 1 death! Must be nice to be this “good”

– Me

Santa on FaceBook


– Me

Trump (the showman)

The Donald…

Here we go! Donald Trump made a “bid” for President a while back with a lot of support. He decided later to use that as a media blitz and NOT run. When that happened, he became irrelevant to me. I thought Trump had some good ideas and some strong rhetoric, but actions speak louder, and he removed himself. Now he is moderating a presidential debate in Iowa that is supposed to be taken seriously. I, for one, will not watch this; and further think the Republicans should boycott this travesty of American politics. Donald Trump is a joke able political figure now, and has no Republican clout with the GOP or RNC for that matter. That being said, if the RNC decides this is a good idea, then you can imagine what is next… Republican Presidential primary hosted and moderated by the LGBT group? For those not familiar with the acronym. Lesbian Gay Bi and Transgender. I can see Perez Hilton hosting an event and the Left being completely up in arms at the suggestion nobody show up for it. This is crazy. Let the reporters and serious political types ask the questions. Donald Trump should stick to firing people and boasting about himself.  I say leave politics to those who are genuinely interested and not trying to make MORE money claiming one thing while doing another.

– Me

More Holding the Black Man Down

I am hearing Democratic strategists and politicians continuously regurgitate the myth that somehow asking for proof of citizenship to vote is aimed at blacks or minorities. How could this be? For this un-provocative question, I enlisted the help of my brother. He said the same thing I was thinking, but I wanted a third party view without discussing the situation first.

First, let us look at the argument. Asking for ID to vote should be a part of voting. It keeps voting honest and minimizes fraud, while ensuring non-citizens are not making policy by voting. They are not citizens and therefore have no right to dictate politics in our country by electing sympathizers to their respective causes.

Second, how is asking for ID holding back the black man? Is it not standard laws across the nation to carry a state ID of some sort with you? I am sick of blacks claiming everything is holding them back. Blacks are holding blacks down – and that is the ugly truth of the matter.

Third, have the blacks noticed that the whites are ALSO showing ID to vote? What a dumb argument to claim that blacks for some reason do not possess the ability to acquire an ID because they are somehow discriminated against as a minority. Guess what? I show my ID to vote, and further, I think I should have to!

Lastly, and this point is credited to my brother, a black man expects to vote without showing ID, but does not mind showing it to Ahmed at the Quicky Mart to purchase beer.

This argument makes no sense to me, and I warmly welcome any suggestions or legitimate arguments to the contrary. This is not even about blacks, this is about Democrats wanting illegals to vote for them and I challenge anyone to disagree with that.

– Me

SNL quips

Quick question… Does anyone who is NOT a flaming Liberal watch SNL?

I ask because I was asked recently if I had seen an episode. I am positive you can imagine I had not seen the episode. If I wish to hear Liberal jokes toward common sense I will watch John Stewart. At least he IS funny sometimes.

– Me


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