Country Music? Yes, Country Music

Ok this is not really a beef or any portion of the glorious and Pakistani-Holy cow for that matter, but what is the deal with country music? Cultural references will explain simply that rednecks and Caucasians in general should listen to this type of ear splitting non-silence. There is no way there are this many depressed people who have had their dog die, their woman taken, their family member injured in war, or their truck scratched by someone driving a car (Man that last one is just over the top I know, I mean who drives a car and has the nerve to touch a truck? What gall, what a useless act of hatred against everything truck related). Well here we are at the epicenter of the country song, the sad moment where the main plot of the song takes place, the tear jerking moment of clarity that only the truly depressed for no reason can relate.

Songs of crying, laughing, loving, and leaving do not sound like a campfire sing-along hand holding good time to me. Everything about this type of music is depressing from the twang of the guitars and banjos to the ear tearing and tear jerking lyrics. Now why would somebody listen to this unholy manna from the TN valley? Who knows?

I can only assume they prefer to listen to this to cheer them up similar to having a really ugly friend to stand next to in order to make yourself look better? This is the only true reason I can find for hearing this useless dribbling, you hear a sad, sad, song and think to yourself “Hey at least my life is not that bad”. This sort of sadness comparison is an ego stroking sycophant mentality in many ways proving that no matter how down you are, it could be worse. I need a drink some kind of bad now, along with a country song to let me know I am gonna make it, just like Billy Ray Cyrus somehow made it as a super rich country singer, and is now piggy backing by exploiting his daughter. Man he can really relate to my issues as a normal person can’t he?

– Me


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