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Douchebags (P. 3)

Part three of the ever-critical douche bag series is here with a new installment of in your face obviousness.

Here we go…

Here I am walking through Wal-Mart Super Center in hometown America when I see a near tile splitting 500 lb woman in a Zimbabwe inspired throw blanket wrapped around her ample torso. These vibrant colors remind me immediately of Kunta Kinte before he became Tobey in the struggled tale of Roots. Did this lady just come off of a safari in the middle of the savanna, or did she just attack a color wheel at the local paint shop? No my friend she did not, she came from her home in the middle of the United States where she has lived her entire 30 years and has never ventured more than 100 miles in any direction. Now I would never poke fun at a person for being too terrified to leave their immediate surroundings (like a small child), but I would absolutely make fun of a person who lets say has a Boston accent, but has lived in the deep south their entire life. This makes this person fake. Maybe darkness likes the vibrant colors, maybe she thinks its stylish, maybe she thinks its represents the African community. How the hell would I know? I do know that this person if representing the African community, they are representing something they know nothing about.

This is the reason Shaniquah Loshander gets the douche bag award. Proud African Queen of Alabama you. Go to Africa as a US citizen and see what happens to you. Real Africans hate US blacks, they resent them b/c the US blacks have an easy life, they resent them b/c the US blacks attempt to represent something they do not understand and never will. Quit pretending queeny, start acting like an American, and for God’s sake never assume that I wont shoulder check your double wide ass at the Grocery Store no matter how entitled you think you are.

– Me

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