Archive for February, 2010

Douchebags (P. 4) Fast and Furious

Today’s performance-enhanced douchebag is the owner of that pissed off weed eater sounding Honda Civic you see meandering around town. You know the ones; you hear it a block and a half away, then you see it in all its glory – low with ground effects, torn and fading mirror tint, and a huge cannon looking exhaust sticking out of the rear of the car, but staggeringly slow for some odd reason.

This four banging 130 HP 5 speed was never meant to be fast or furious, but so many try to replicate the movie that should have never been made to begin with. Don’t pull your 1992 Civic V-Tech next to a new Mustang Shelby and expect to have good results as this car is actually built for speed, unlike your grocery getter. C’mon guys, you cannot honestly think you are going to pull some hot, movie star-looking tail in that loud, slow, chic car that by the way – is not in a movie.

Now it does not take a rocket scientist to understand that revving your car up to max RPMs every time the light turns green is probably not good for it. It also does not take a brain with legs to understand the combustion on a small engine like that may be thrown off by making the exhaust free flowing instead of the factory recommended settings and discharge rates. Now I know that sounds fancy to those of you who think making your car louder also makes it faster, but rest easy as you loudly putter down the road in your furious state of Honda fury.

I could actually care less what you do to your POS; I like to fix mine up too by putting gas in it and changing the oil when I am supposed to. Please have respect for children sleeping while you drive by at 1 AM due to your lack of job and attempts to stay away from your parents knowing they are just going to give you a hard time because you are a loser. If you are old enough to be on your own and you fit into this category, then you may have more pressing issues. Until next time, race you to the next red light!

– Me


HR 3200 (Affordable Health Care)


America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009 (Reported in House)


    (a) In General- Subchapter A of chapter 1 of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 is amended by adding at the end the following new part:


`subpart a. tax on individuals without acceptable health care coverage.

`Subpart A–Tax on Individuals Without Acceptable Health Care Coverage

    • `Sec. 59B. Tax on individuals without acceptable health care coverage.


    `(a) Tax Imposed- In the case of any individual who does not meet the requirements of subsection (d) at any time during the taxable year, there is hereby imposed a tax equal to 2.5 percent of the excess of–
    • `(1) the taxpayer’s modified adjusted gross income for the taxable year, over
    • `(2) the amount of gross income specified in section 6012(a)(1) with respect to the taxpayer.
    `(b) Limitations-
      • `(A) IN GENERAL- The tax imposed under subsection (a) with respect to any taxpayer for any taxable year shall not exceed the applicable national average premium for such taxable year.
        • `(i) IN GENERAL- For purposes of subparagraph (A), the `applicable national average premium’ means, with respect to any taxable year, the average premium (as determined by the Secretary, in coordination with the Health Choices Commissioner) for self-only coverage under a basic plan which is offered in a Health Insurance Exchange for the calendar year in which such taxable year begins.
        • `(ii) FAILURE TO PROVIDE COVERAGE FOR MORE THAN ONE INDIVIDUAL- In the case of any taxpayer who fails to meet the requirements of subsection (e) with respect to more than one individual during the taxable year, clause (i) shall be applied by substituting `family coverage’ for `self-only coverage’.
    • `(2) PRORATION FOR PART YEAR FAILURES- The tax imposed under subsection (a) with respect to any taxpayer for any taxable year shall not exceed the amount which bears the same ratio to the amount of tax so imposed (determined without regard to this paragraph and after application of paragraph (1)) as–
      • `(A) the aggregate periods during such taxable year for which such individual failed to meet the requirements of subsection (d), bears to
      • `(B) the entire taxable year.

That’s right, this is the free health care for all – err I mean affordable health care plan for all of America! A tax if you do not comply of over 2% of your yearly income!!! This text is a copy from which is the House record keeping website. I did not make any of this up or even write above the bullet above this paragraph. the Govt gets involved in our health care system and then wonders why the insurance companies are charging more for the same product? Simple: They are about to be put out of business by big brother. Did you notice the government is now in a position to tell Americans what acceptable health care coverage is? Nothing says affordable for all like forcing it on us, kind of like in Soviet Russia where not too long ago people were burning money in the winter for heat.

– Me


Now your kid can be as cool as the broke wanna be crack head down the street that nobody will make eye contact with. This is a real product (Made in China of course).

– Me

Nuclear Iran

Does Iran have nukes? Why not? We may never know as our current administration is a little more hugs, kisses, and finger pointing than anything else. It almost appears our Islam loving president whose name happens to be Hussein (what a coincidence) warns against weapons grade nuclear elements with toothless dribbles. You had better not Iran, or we will do nothing about it. This sounds eerily close to Bill Clinton dealing with Saddam Hussein in Iraq during the 1990’s doesn’t it?

I wonder why they would not care too much about this? Maybe his views on Israel show the light at the end of the tunnel. Obama and all his new cabinet members to include Robert Gibbs have blamed Israel for being the aggressor in Palestine and the West Bank and for creating the violence there for the past couple of years. Well anyone who actually watches this arena would know that Israel actually pulled out of the settlements it had established and handed it over to the Palestinians essentially evicting their own people in order to establish some functionality of peace. Well when they did this, the Palestinians began to bomb Israeli cities again, forcing Israel to respond, which then brought international political complaints towards Israel for some reason.

We will tie this together by knowing that Hamas is an Iranian funded and backed militant wing of the Iranian Guard, an underground fighting element for the Grand Ayatollah (The religious leader). Why is Iran being paid millions of US “aid” dollars through Hamas with the premise they were elected in a democratic process and they are a peaceful Islamic entity. Are you stupid? These are the same people who dress young boys from ages 3-10 in mock suicide vests and parade them around town in massive celebrations of martyrdom. Not a lot peaceful about that really now is there?

This is not a photo of some crazy right wing imagination. This is a photo of the Iranian based Hamas group at their best (isn’t he just cute?). Get ready to see Allah little boy, b/c this is the real Islamic community – violence without remorse, and unquestioned loyalty to religion no matter the cost. Well that applies to those who are not in key positions anyway, I am still waiting on the day a leader commits a suicide bombing (I think they should practice what they preach). This photo above is essentially what the new administration defends against one our long time allies, and they know full well the funding comes from a now nuclear Iran. Make your own decisions.

– Me

Country Music? Yes, Country Music

Ok this is not really a beef or any portion of the glorious and Pakistani-Holy cow for that matter, but what is the deal with country music? Cultural references will explain simply that rednecks and Caucasians in general should listen to this type of ear splitting non-silence. There is no way there are this many depressed people who have had their dog die, their woman taken, their family member injured in war, or their truck scratched by someone driving a car (Man that last one is just over the top I know, I mean who drives a car and has the nerve to touch a truck? What gall, what a useless act of hatred against everything truck related). Well here we are at the epicenter of the country song, the sad moment where the main plot of the song takes place, the tear jerking moment of clarity that only the truly depressed for no reason can relate.

Songs of crying, laughing, loving, and leaving do not sound like a campfire sing-along hand holding good time to me. Everything about this type of music is depressing from the twang of the guitars and banjos to the ear tearing and tear jerking lyrics. Now why would somebody listen to this unholy manna from the TN valley? Who knows?

I can only assume they prefer to listen to this to cheer them up similar to having a really ugly friend to stand next to in order to make yourself look better? This is the only true reason I can find for hearing this useless dribbling, you hear a sad, sad, song and think to yourself “Hey at least my life is not that bad”. This sort of sadness comparison is an ego stroking sycophant mentality in many ways proving that no matter how down you are, it could be worse. I need a drink some kind of bad now, along with a country song to let me know I am gonna make it, just like Billy Ray Cyrus somehow made it as a super rich country singer, and is now piggy backing by exploiting his daughter. Man he can really relate to my issues as a normal person can’t he?

– Me

Douchebags (P. 3)

Part three of the ever-critical douche bag series is here with a new installment of in your face obviousness.

Here we go…

Here I am walking through Wal-Mart Super Center in hometown America when I see a near tile splitting 500 lb woman in a Zimbabwe inspired throw blanket wrapped around her ample torso. These vibrant colors remind me immediately of Kunta Kinte before he became Tobey in the struggled tale of Roots. Did this lady just come off of a safari in the middle of the savanna, or did she just attack a color wheel at the local paint shop? No my friend she did not, she came from her home in the middle of the United States where she has lived her entire 30 years and has never ventured more than 100 miles in any direction. Now I would never poke fun at a person for being too terrified to leave their immediate surroundings (like a small child), but I would absolutely make fun of a person who lets say has a Boston accent, but has lived in the deep south their entire life. This makes this person fake. Maybe darkness likes the vibrant colors, maybe she thinks its stylish, maybe she thinks its represents the African community. How the hell would I know? I do know that this person if representing the African community, they are representing something they know nothing about.

This is the reason Shaniquah Loshander gets the douche bag award. Proud African Queen of Alabama you. Go to Africa as a US citizen and see what happens to you. Real Africans hate US blacks, they resent them b/c the US blacks have an easy life, they resent them b/c the US blacks attempt to represent something they do not understand and never will. Quit pretending queeny, start acting like an American, and for God’s sake never assume that I wont shoulder check your double wide ass at the Grocery Store no matter how entitled you think you are.

– Me


The Democrats on the Hill who make $170K+/yr in salaries plus stipends, free travel, and per diem do not seem to think there is any inflation in the US.Well maybe making that much money and getting the freebies from taxpayers takes some of the burden off the wallet, but where I live a single can of coke is no longer $.50 but around $1. The value meals at restaurants do not include a drink any longer for the “Value” you were looking for. That costs extra now, and some places are even charging for refills. I am no financial expert, but you don’t charge for refills because things are great, and the dollar is really strong. You charge for refills when someone is paying with Monopoly $. This cartoon really tells the truth these days… Iran holds the cards with OPEC and for some reason the US thinks our dollar should mean something.

– Me

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